You Want To Fall In Love

Of course the answer is an emphatic yes! But do you ever wonder what exactly you are asking for, besides all the popular notions of being starry-eyed and in a state of emotional euphoria? Once you are seduced by the magic or romance, there will undoubtedly come a time when you are asked to give a little bit more. Give what exactly?

The progression of rationale takes over and we explain away why we are with someone or not, and our looming desire to be vulnerable is successfully averted. We are protected again because we avoided exposing what we perceive to be our weaknesses or deep, dark secrets. We relinquish this challenge to be "real" and fall back into our comfort zone of fears, fantasies, and needs to justify why our relationships are inadequate. We lapse into quasi-love connections or claim to be immune from the drawbacks of falling in love because the right person just hasn't come along. WOW! All this after we swore we would honor and cherish falling in love if only the gods above would be kind enough to bestow on us this extraordinary experience.

It helps to know that falling in love is not just about chemistry, common ground, and the willingness to care for someone, although these things build a solid foundation. We can also look to history as a means of understanding the evolution of falling in love. This perspective can highlight the downside of considering only the finely packaged examples set up by those who influence us most: family, friends, and role models, by allowing us to recognize that we have evolved from love connections based on survival, loneliness, and procreating, to include more profound connections that consider the divine elements of the heart and soul.